Posted 3 days ago

So I was walking through Wal-Mart when sudden but inevitable feels punched me in the gut.

Posted 1 week ago

Let's play a game!











Stand where you are, look around, and list whatever liquidy thing is closest…

My urine.

Posted 1 week ago












I was volunteering at a booksale when I ran across this and just…

Submitted to me by mrsrhettbutler

uh…those arms…you’re all thinking that, right…?

i feel like we’re all just kind of reblogging it in a circle and looking at each other uneasily like, waiting for someone to finally give in and yell it out in the reply chain


you held out as long as you could, i’m sure.


Edward Dildo-arms



Okay but I’d just like to point out the other covers for this book, which vary from




"An unholy mixture of science fiction and gay porn" —Kirkus Reviews

Amazon reviews of this book range from positive to gushing; apparently it is a sci-fi classic with good writing, focusing on the erotic but not the sexual, and the New York Times called it a groundbreaking depiction of homosexual romance. On the other hand, I found a Goodreads review that called it “the most misogynistic, fascist piece of science fiction I’ve ever read.” Apparently the tyrannical society the characters live in was caused by government-enforced equality, particularly women’s equality. So, um, yeah.

tl;dr I did all this research to find a reason for the dildo-arms and I never got one.

I was curious and bought the book. I am almost half-way through, and it doesn’t look like dildo-arms is going to be a thing, without going into spoiler details. It’s a good read, but is pretty sexist, but you also have to realise that is was written in the 70s.

There’s some good erotic parts, in between lots of plot, and that worked out well. But yeah, it can be pretty misogynistic—whenever they actually have a female character. I’m enjoying it well enough though. I am hoping the dildo-arms make a comeback by the end of the book, however, but I’m also not sure that it will necessarily end happily. Only spoiler I’m giving.

Posted 1 week ago

Me: *slaps sister on the arse cheek walking by*

Sister: “Go team.”

Me: “What team?”

Sister: “I said, ‘Go team.’”

Me: “No, I— Wildca—… GOD, Tumblr would understand me.”

Posted 3 months ago


I made sure to change my alarm to wake up the appropriate way for such an occasion.


Posted 3 months ago

NSFW ponderings

Are you ever listening to music in the shower and randomly decide to masturbate, only to realise later what you were listening to while you were wanking?

I’m so sorry Pandora’s Disney station. But you’re a bro for playing Won’t Say I’m in Love.

Posted 3 months ago

"Come enjoy some delicious hot cheesy puffs, kids…in HELL. HAHAHAHAHA!"

Posted 4 months ago

I’m a door-to-door salesperson and I see this sort of shit all the time.

How the hell am I supposed to sell pest control when I can’t make eye contact with potential clients and focusing on trying not to blink?

Posted 4 months ago

Bought myself an early birthday present. Been waiting ages for the paperback.

Posted 4 months ago

I had yet another dream with John Ratzenberger in it. I can’t even begin to explain how often that happens. Pretty decent bloke to guest star in my dreams, however, I guess.

Posted 4 months ago

Such a beautiful sight.

Posted 4 months ago

The best part of putting on sunscreen is saying “Simba” as you smear it on your forehead.

Posted 5 months ago


One time in 5th grade, I convinced this kid that I was a leprechaun on saint Patricks day because I have red hair, and at first he didnt believe me so I was like “if I wasn’t a leprechaun, why would I have all this spare change in my pocket?” And I reached into my back pocket and pulled out like 2 dollars worth of lunch money and his eyes lit up and he was so excited and then I leaned in real close and said “don’t tell anyone” and I handed him a quarter and to this day I’m still a huge fucking liar.

I tried to do with the little speech box, but it was too long. oh well.

My mum was an enabler. There were two major lies I’d tell kids at my school and she always backed me up. 1. I am secretly an alien dropped off as a baby and my mum took me in. She’d tell kids to keep it quiet or the government would take me away. They totally believed it. 2. I have a speech impediment that was super bad as a kid and people were fucking stupid and kept asking me if I was from Britain. (I’m American.) So I finally started saying Yes, yes I was, and actually my mother and I travelled from England to make it on our own and not depend on “Great Aunt Lizzie” anymore. My mum would say she missed the palace. For practically my entire elementary schooling, a host of children thought I was an alien and Queen Elisabeth was my great aunt. Hell. If anyone asks, we still tell them that.

Posted 5 months ago

I am so disappointed right now.

So much potential. Wasted.

This looks fucking stupid and nothing like the book, which was what I dearly wanted.

But that’s just my opinion. Feel free to disagree with me, and be excited for this film, and eager to see it because you think it looks amazing. I’ll be happy that you’re happy with it, even if I am personally not.

Posted 5 months ago